7 Awkward Experiences That Helped Me Think More Inclusively
Looking back with gratitude on eye-opening moments that have made me a more inclusive teammate and designer
1. “The dark blue or the light blue?”
Years ago when working on a data visualization centric dashboard, one particular review opened my eyes to how others’ eyes might see differently.
I remember being huddled in the SVP of Product’s office with him and the core team to review the latest, higher-fidelity iteration of the key data visualization. When talking through it, he asked one clarifying question that made us all pause: “the dark blue or the light blue?” Our heads turned back to the screen, where a purple line and a blue line were shown to represent these key data points, then we turned our puzzled heads to each other.
A slightly uncomfortable conversation unfolded as our poor SVP learned that he’s a bit color blind, and we learned that our beautiful color scheme failed. The opportunity helped us understand that not only did he see colors differently, but the lack of contrast made it really difficult for him to even distinguish the visualized data points. This moment led us into a deep dive of research and color explorations, introducing me to best practices for colors in data viz along with the ins and outs of ADA compliancy. I’ve since adopted the regular use of tools like Stark to strive for accessible visual design choices.
2. “She doesn’t seem like a good fit.”
Our team was debriefing on an engineering candidate we all had interviewed individually. My other teammates shared their input first, highlighting concerns that she didn’t seem interested in our company, she didn’t illustrate proficient experience in her answers, and she came off as cold.
Taken aback, I had to double-check that I was in the right debrief for the right candidate.
My interview experience was completely different from these guys’ interviews — and I do not think folks would consider me as a particularly easy interviewer. Despite how much it contrasted everyone else’s unanimous feedback, I shared examples of how this candidate demonstrated her genuine interest, solid experience and personal warmth. We briefly were baffled: How could I have had such an extremely different experience from all the others?
The hiring manager then threw out one theory: Should we consider that I was the only female who interviewed her? She was an Indian female candidate, and very well could have felt particularly nervous and even intimidated in her interviews with my male colleagues. (Knowing my respectful teammates, I can’t imagine that they intentionally did anything to cause this, but nevertheless appreciate that they acknowledged this possibility).
Now, I take even extra consideration into factors that might cause a candidate to not show up their best, and encourage the team and talent managers to do the same.
3. “Not everyone can reach.”
Our team leads wanted to have a retro about how the team was scaling. Since we were all in-person, I suggested we try something different from the round-robin discussion format we had been using. (That format had exposed a few improvement opportunities I had in mind).
So instead, I proposed using the whiteboard to silently write our feedback before discussing it together — a pretty standard format which had worked well for my teams in the past. I started drawing four large columns with a smiley face, frowny face, light bulb and question mark towards the top of the board. But the suggestion was vetoed, so we carried on with the usual open-ended discussion format.
Afterwards, I wanted to understand why there wasn’t interest in trying out this other format that seemed more participatory and structured, which we needed. I heard a few thoughts, but only one really struck me.
When asking the lead PM for his thoughts, he simply said to me, “Not everyone can reach.” My face immediately went flushed. I felt like the most ignorant, insensitive fool. Of course — crowding around the tall whiteboard spaces in our tiny conference room would not be a delightful experience for our paraplegic tech lead. I felt like an ass, but am so grateful for that moment of realization that makes me so much more cognizant of physical accessibility today.
Our scrum master later introduced FunRetro, which has become my favorite tool for facilitating those conversations in a participatory, inclusive way (especially nowadays in our remote working world!). Now, I always consider this when planning classic post-it or pin-up based design thinking exercises, too!
4. “I can’t hear you.”
I think we’ve all gained empathy for remote teammates during this time of COVID. One thing we’re not getting exposure to, though, is the experience of being remote on a call while other team members on the call are in person together.
The first time I experienced the frustration of this situation was joining a standup remotely — one which I had always joined in-person, huddled around a laptop in the middle of our NY office team area. Remotely, I couldn’t see who was talking and couldn’t hear what they were saying. Maybe worse, I self-consciously felt annoying for vocalizing “I can’t hear you” and asking for folks to step closer to the laptop while talking. Afterwards, I remember messaging one of our overseas QA engineers to ask if it’s always like this, which he sadly confirmed it was.
Some simple changes we made to improve the standup experience for our remote teammates — without taking away from the benefits of in-person congregation — were:
- Using a dedicated, high-quality speaker & mic instead of the laptop stock
- Screensharing the JIRA board and using it as a visual aid
- Each stepping up to the camera when speaking
- Refraining from side conversations, or bringing them into a central discussion
- Commandeering an empty office or conference room whenever possible
5. “Ooooh, thanks (I guess).”
It was the inaugural Secret Santa gift exchange for our newly-assembled team, in partnership with another team. Not everyone knew each other well yet, and some hadn’t even met yet.
So, as with many holiday gift exchanges, some folks leaned on lovely bottles of wine and liquor as a default — only to awkwardly discover their recipients didn’t drink.
The gifts were received graciously, of course, but it was a good reminder that what might seem like an obvious favorable choice for all is not always the case. We’ve applied this mindfulness to rethink team happy hours as well, but the lesson extends far beyond team social settings.
6. “They could always decline.”
Calendar Tetris is a challenging task — sometimes impossible, and almost always under-appreciated. I had to confront a teammate who had been getting into the habit of scheduling team working sessions in afternoons (Eastern Time) since mornings were already occupied with standing scrum rituals.
I couldn’t help but notice that the same couple of offshore engineers based in the Middle East consistently were present for these meetings (at 9, 10 even 11pm local time): they were all of the female teammates, whereas the overseas male teammates rightfully would decline.
We had to recognize that it didn’t suffice assuming a team member will know to decline or speak up about an after-hours meeting just because that’s what we’d do. In this case, it was clear that a gender-based and perhaps cultural-based factor was preventing teammates from rightfully skipping these late-night meetings. We had to look for creative solutions, be very clear in attendance expectation-setting, and really emphasize opportunities to view recordings and follow up afterwards.
Lesson learned: Be careful with assumptions that others would handle scenarios the same way you would, and be mindful about unintentionally creating unfair scenarios in the first place.
7. Not everyone likes cookies.
I love baking my for teammates. Who doesn’t love cookies, right? Wrong! I brought a lovely platter of homemade cookies to a retro, only to learn that everyone in the room had more of a savory than sweet tastebud. Zero takers.
The small stuff matters, too!
These stories, of course, barely even scratch the surface of aspects of inclusion we need to consider for our users, and for our teammates. But appreciating these moments, even if awkward or uncomfortable, is good practice for engraining more empathy and consideration in our decision-making.
